Especially when I'm traveling, but sometimes even when I'm home, I'll work on my Tablet PC while I'm in bed watching a movie or TV. And sometimes, I fall asleep while I'm working.

Now there's a problem with beds: they're soft. As in cushy. As in when you set something on them, it sinks in. As in when you set a PC on them, it sinks in and blocks off the cooling vents. And then overheats.

Now my wonderful Gateway CX200-X has got protection to keep the machine from completely cooking: it shuts down when the heat gets too high. That's good, but it's not a very clean shut-down. So I've been looking for a solution.

One solution, of course, is to get out of bed when I work. Sorry, ain't gonna happen.

Another solution, of course, is to go to bed without working. Sorry, ain't in my nature. Too many irons in the fire.

Another solution, of course, is to set the computer on a table before I go to sleep. Sorry, sometimes I'm too tired. I don't choose to sleep, it just happens.

So the solution I'm left with is to put something under the computer to keep the vents from blocking. I tried books and magazines; but it seems that either the computer slides off, or the magazine folds up and covers the vents. I know there are boards you can get for something like this, but I've been too busy to shop for them.

Way back when, I asked:

So I'm at a loss. Is this what they mean by Hamburger Michigan? I guess I'll have to go back to Montreal to find out. Why have I lived 43 years in Michigan and never even heard of it before now? And why is it called that? That may be one of those rare answers that just isn't to be found on the Web.

Well, I think I've finally found the answer, courtesy of Wikipedia:

A Michigan hot dog or, "Michigan", is a steamed hot dog on a steamed bun topped with a meaty sauce, generally referred to as "Michigan Sauce". The sauce may or may not be tomato-based, depending on where the Michigan is purchased. Michigans can be served with or without chopped onions. If served with onions, the onions can either be buried under the sauce or sprinkled on top of the sauce.

Michigans are a particular favorite in the North Country of New York State, and have been so for many decades. In fact, one of the earliest known advertisements for Michigans appeared in the Friday, May 27, 1927, Plattsburgh Daily Republican [1].

Michigans are also very popular in Montréal and other parts of Québec, where the sauce that is put on them is invariably tomato-based and is often simpy referred to as "spaghetti sauce". Lafleur Restaurants, a Québec fast food chain, is known for its Michigans and poutine.

Oddly enough, "Michigan hot dogs", are never referred to as "Michigans" in Michigan itself, nor anywhere else in the Midwest. A similar food item, the "coney" or "Coney Island dog", is a hot dog topped with onions and either chili or a meatless chili called coney sauce. Conversely, the "Coney Island" is not called as such on Coney Island, or anywhere else in New York State; it's called either a "Michigan" or a "Red Hot." Finally, in southeast Michigan, a "Coney Island" is also a type of fast-food restaurant that primarily sells hot dogs and french fries.

OK, got it: a Michigan dog is called a Coney in Michigan, or a Michigan in Coney. Makes perfect sense:

Although there are many different varieties of Michigan sauce[2] available today, the original Michigan sauce was created by Mr. George Todoroff in Jackson, Michigan. The sauce was originally created to be used as chile sauce. In 1914, Mr. Todoroff took his recipe to Coney Island in Brooklyn New York and opened his first restaurant. However, the hot dog hadn’t arrived on the scene when he first opened his restaurant, so he had to wait until 1916 to make his first famous "Jackson Coney Island" hot dog.

...

According to the second, and more likely story, a couple (Mr. Jack Rabin and his wife) from Plattsburgh went to Coney Island on vacation. They, like everyone else at Coney Island, ate a Jackson Coney Island Hot Dog and fell in love with it. When they came home to Plattsburgh, they recreated the sauce and decided to put it to work. They opened a "Michigan Hot Dog" stand, named Nitzi’s, on Route 9 just outside the city. The name came about because they couldn’t call their sandwich a Jackson Coney Island so they gave it the name of the state from where it was born.

So I think that settles it. Of course, everything in that article discusses Michigan sauce on hot dogs, never on hamburgers. But I think "Hamburger Michigan" may refer to the hamburger in the sauce, not what it's spread on. To wit, here's an ad for Bison Gourmet Meat Sauce from Shop the Adirondacks:

Your healthy replacement for high fat "Hamburger Michigan Sauce"

MADE WITH BISON - NOT HAMBURGER

And note in the picture that the sauce is spread on, yes, a hot dog. So I suspect that, if I ever get back to Montreal and order a Hamburger Michigan, I'm going to find it looks an awful lot like a hot dog.

Of course, as the truly discriminating Michigan hot dog eater knows, there's really only one name for this kind of dog: Yesterdog. (No, they don't have their own web site, as far as I can find. They don't need one. Maybe if business ever drops off, they'll need a web site to drum up more; but as I can't recall a lunch or dinner time when the line wasn't out the door, I don't see that happening yet.)

Good timing! A week earlier, and the guests would've melted down in the parking lot.

---

Mostly I don't notice the passage of years. But sometimes, it's unavoidable. Such as when you look at the groom and think, "Hey, this is a much nicer ceremony than his parents had..."

---

Ladies, I would never try to tell you not to get a tattoo. While I may find it foolish, it's your choice. But when you do, you should start shopping for your wedding dress at the same time, so you can make sure they look good together.

---

It was good to see the mother of the groom dancing with her ex-husband (the father of the groom) to the same song they danced to at their wedding.

It would even have been kinda sweet, if it hadn't been Van Halen's Running with the Devil.

---

School librarians and teachers are people, too. They just never show it when you're in school.

---

Some family trees are way too complicated for me to follow. And I was there watching much of the complication happen, and it's still too complicated for me to follow.

---

All DJ services are not created equal.

---

All wedding reception meals are not created equal.

(And if I can find the recipe for that cornbread casserole...)

---

All weddings are disasters. As long as the bride and groom never notice, you win.

---

Some people do grow up, but they take a little longer than usual.

---

I've known the groom since birth, so I was happy to give up a night of gaming to be there for him.

And I was only a little envious of the husband who wasn't there because he was at GenCon instead.

---

When the doctor says she won't live to see five, ten and thriving is good. Ten and bouncing around on the dance floor with all the other kids is a miracle.

---

We need a list of wedding reception songs that should simply be retired. I'll start:

• The Hokey Pokey


• The Chicken Dance


• Love Shack


• The Macarena, and all similar group dance routines

---

Hey, Mr. DJ, you're not nearly as funny as you think you are. (But the person paying you thinks you are, so that's what counts.)

And what's with all the dopey hats?

---

Bowing to the inevitable: little metal bells at every table. Much classier than banging the glassware (or the table) with the silverware; and you get to take them home as a memento.

---

When the librarian says, "You got older, but she didn't," the smart husband answers, "You're right."

And when the wife responds, "It's all makeup. Just add more every year," the smart husband adds, "Don't believe it. She never spends more than 30 seconds on it."

So following up on this and this, I figure it's a good time to mention the new beverage I just discovered: Bolthouse Farms® Prickly Pear Cactus Lemonade.

Now I love just about any citrus flavor; and lemonade especially suits my tastes. And I was already a fan of Bolthouse's Mango Lemonade. But I wasn't sure about this one: prickly pear cactus? Still, Bolthouse has never let me down, so I decided to try it.

Not to worry. I don't know how prickly pear tastes on its own; but mixed with lemonade, it adds only a slightly sweet and vaguely exotic flavor. It almost reminds me of melon. And the overall result is a somewhat milder taste than the Mango Lemonade, which is good but packs quite a tang. The Mango Lemonade doesn't sit well with me late at night, because it's so strong (and because I can't resist drinking the whole thing regardless). I don't expect that to be a problem with the Prickly Pear Cactus Lemonade.

My judgment: another winner from Bolthouse Farms!

I should mention that I've tried their other two new flavors as well. Cranberry Lemonade is as good as Mango Lemonade; but it's a flavor combination I've had before, so it didn't seem anywhere near as novel as Prickly Pear Cactus Lemonade.

And Perfectly Protein Mocha Cappuccino? Well, it's almost as good as Perfectly Protein Vanilla Chai; and that's saying a lot! If (like me) you like the odor of coffee but can't stand the bitter taste, then Perfectly Protein Mocha Cappuccino is for you. There's no bitter here, and it tastes like coffee smells, only with cocoa and vanilla blended in.

Those Bolthouse Farms folks sure know their juices!

Let it hereby be proclaimed throughout the land: Diet Pepsi Jazz is good stuff.

Oh, the Strawberries and Cream is a little sweet to my taste. But then. strawberry has never been my favorite fruit flavor.

But cherry, on the other hand, is my favorite non-citrus fruit. And vanilla is a great flavor accent. So ah, the Black Cherry-French Vanilla is incredible! I could consume a whole twelve pack in an evening of coding.

So maybe you could do me a favor? Buy some. Try some. And if you like it, buy more. I want sales to be really good, so Pepsi keeps this on their product list.

I should add: I'm a dedicated Diet Coke drinker. When I'm not drinking Diet Coke, it's usually Diet Dr Pepper. I've never found a Pepsi product that I prefer: I'll drink it if it's offered, but I won't go buy it. But with Jazz, they changed that.

So I pulled into Pinckney pretty late. I knew my buddy Tom Lavey (of L & M Precision Machine) would be asleep already. So I pulled into Busch's (a popular local grocery chain) to get some dinner. Yes, it was almost midnight; but I've shopped at Busch's at all hours. They're a 24-hour place. Only not, apparently, at some of the more rural locations. This one was closing.

Since I was still hungry, I crossed the street to McDonald's. I really wanted something lighter, but I had missed that chance.

Well, it turns out that the Pinckney McD's is also not 24 hour. Oh, I should've been tipped off by all the McD's workers leaving; but the drive-through menu was still lit up. That's pretty much the universal symbol: "Drive through is still open." So I waited for somebody to take my order. But after last night, I wasn't in a mood to wait very long. I pulled around the building; and mine was the last car in the lot.

Still hungry, and knowing from experience that there would be no food at Tom's, I could only think of one place nearby to get food. I drove out to US-23, where I knew the Shell station would be open. It's not the cheapest place to buy groceries, but it was open. And there across the street was another McDonald's, all lit up and with cars in drive-through. So I pulled over there, and into the drive-through lane. Only there, I saw the opposite universal symbol: the drive-through menu was dark. That means, "You still here? It's over. Go home." But darn, there were cars in the line. So I pulled up; and almost immediately, a guy came on the speaker and took my order. When I got to the window, I asked if they knew the light was out. He said yep, it was burned out.

Somehow, something's just not right tonight...

Like new!



Look at that fender!



Look at that headlight!



Look at that door!



No deer poop!

It's ready to take on the road!



Sandy said she never knew Mazda made a special Tablet PC Edition of the Mazda 3...



You'd never guess it was my car, huh?



Well, maybe you would. It seems to remember the way...

OK, you folks at Panera, I have a question for you. I love your homey little atmosphere. It's well documented that you're one of my favorite places to eat and go on-line.

And I love the little gas-powered fake fireplaces you have in every store. They give the place a warm, inviting air on a cold winter night where curling up in front of the fire with a warm beverage, a warm cup of soup, and a warm laptop is just ideal.

But why, pray tell, do you run the things when the temperature is 96 degrees outside?

At my favorite Panera, the best chairs in the house — the comfy chairs next to the spare power plugs — are right next to that stinking fireplace!

Oh, there are chairs just as comfy on the other side of the table, chairs that can just as easily reach the spare power plugs; but those chairs are right next to a comfy couch. They clearly form a conversational circle. It would seem to me to be a violation of your courtesy request for a lone laptop user to occupy one of those chairs.

Please, in the months of summer: turn off the fireplaces!

(But hey, at least I get my Largo IC Mango in under nineteen minutes...)

UPDATE: Panera responds. Which is one more example of how they're a smart, customer-focused organization. (Somebody else hasn't rsponded yet...)

An excerpt:

As a franchise organizaiton, there are somethings we can change and some we can not. I will however investigate the fireplaces being on in the summer. This to seem silly to me as well.

Even before I received this very polite response, I had decided to add a specific category for Panera. It's in jest, because I post about the place so often (and at the place as well — and by the way, the fireplace is kinda warm right now); but I also think it's deserved. Think about that, Panera folks: I mostly read DC comics, but those posts just go under the heading of comic books; but you folks, you get your own special sub-category f Dining. That's brand loyalty. And it's awfully smart of you to work so hard to earn it.

OK, I'll admit: sometimes I'm patient to a fault. If waiting is called for, I'm your man. I'm seldom in such a hurry that I get impatient. And sometimes I get hooked: I get curious about just how long the wait will be, and so I have to keep waiting to find out.

Case in point: last night, it was hot (gee, there's news); and so on the way home, I wanted a cold shake. So I stopped at Steak n Shake in Grandville (link provided as a customer service advisory), and ordered a large banana shake. That's all.

Now I like Steak n Shake. Good food, great shakes. A little pricey, but not bad. But I sometimes find them a bit slow.

Well, last night, they gave slow a whole new meaning.

It took five minutes for the car ahead of me to get served. Considering that the little digital display said their total was only $9.71, that seemed a little long. But again, Steak n Shake can be slow. (To be fair, in part that's because their food is always, truly made to order.)

Then I pulled up to the window. There was no window guy there; but he showed up shortly and took my payment.

Then he left the window. And I began The Wait.

Again: I can be obsessive about waiting sometimes. And I had finally figured out the air conditioning in the loaner car, so I was enjoying cool air for the first time in a week. I had no place else to be, so I didn't mind waiting.

At six minutes — not six minutes after I ordered, six minutes after I reached the window, or eleven minutes after I ordered — somebody put my shake and another shake on the counter near the window.

At eight minutes, I was firmly fixed in The Waiting Game. And Rule One of The Waiting Game is: you never remind them that you're waiting. That would interfere with the experiment.

At ten minutes, I began to wonder if they were being robbed or something. Still no one at the window. I also wondered if anyone would apologize for the wait. Rule Two of The Waiting Game is: you never expect an apology; but they get bonus points if you get one.

At twelve minutes, I saw people leaving with that tear-off-the-tie-and-pull-out-the-shirt-tails behavior that's indicative of workers getting off shift, and I thought: what business do they have getting off shift when I've been waiting twelve minutes for a freaking shake that has been on the counter for six minutes? But Rule Three of The Waiting Game is: you never lose patience. You chose to play, and this is how the game is played.

At fifteen minutes, I decided I was going to ask to speak to a manager. Rule Four of The Waiting Game is: you never complain, and you never ask to speak to the manager. You chose to play, and this is how the game is played. But fifteen minutes for a freaking shake?

At nineteen minutes, a manager came up to the window, looked at the food queue, and said, "Oh, my God! I can't believe this!" See, many fast food joints set a performance goal based on how fast orders are fulfilled. A local Taco Bell keeps their average wait on a white board; and every time I've checked, it's between one and two minutes. So this guy just watched his entire performance review fly out the window (the only thing that "flew" out the window last night).

Then he left the window to check it out, and to chew people out.

But he came back, quickly enough; and he apologized before I could complain. Bonus points for that; but really, did he have any choice?

But then he handed me both shakes and a bag of fries, and said it was all at no charge; but I handed the extra food back, and explained that all I ordered was a banana shake. So he checked, and saw that I had already paid for my shake. So he took my name, and said my next meal was on the house. And he apologized again. I told him it was OK. I told him that every staff needs a teachable moment now and then (a mistake so egregious that the manager uses it to teach a lesson, often involving a fair amount of yelling and chastising), and this was going to be a big one.

We'll see if they learned from it: when I pick up my car today, I'll have to go right by that Steak n Shake. Anyone care to place a bet on whether they know I'm supposed to get a free meal?

You chose to play, and this is how the game is played. You wait. But nineteen minutes for a freaking shake?

Help Us to Continue Free WiFi

Peak Hours

Please be considerate during our busiest hours, 11am - 2pm. If others are waiting for a table, we ask that you limit your time to 30 minutes.

Table Size

When deciding where to sit, please consider that a table for 6 may not be the ideal spot for a party of one. We ask you to leave our larger tables for our larger groups.

Fine rules for any WiFi hotspot, I think, and very nicely and politely put by the folks at Panera Bread. Thanks. I'll keep those in mind.

Microsoft sent me some new software to try out, and to tell all the world how great it is. Unfortunately, when you ask for my opinion, you're going to get my opinion, whether you like it or not.

The software they sent me was the new, 2006 edition of Microsoft MapPoint. I'm not sure why I got it. Maybe it's because I'm an MVP. Maybe it's because I've spoken with the MapPoint team at conferences, and raved about it.

And I have raved about it. MapPoint is an indispensable tool for trip planning. I'm very thrilled with it. And I'm even happier with the 2006 edition, for lots of little reasons. For one thing, it has lots of new map data, so it better reflects the roads I'm driving. In particular, it now includes Michigan route M-6, or what I like to call "The Wormhole" because it lets me get to far east or far west quadrants of the Grand Rapids area about half an hour faster. If i need to get from, say, Panera by the Woodland Mall (where I'm at right now) to Panera by the Rivertown Plaza (one of my other frequent Panera stops), it's faster to go east, then south to M-6, then west, and then north, than to just head west from here. The route may be more than twice as long, but the travel time will be shorter. (And to think, it only took them forty years to build that road...)

But there's one way where MapPoint falls short: it's a lousy single-person automobile navigation tool.

I've used it for multi-person navigation, where one person drives and the other navigates on the computer. It works great, especially if you hook it up to a GPS. But when I'm driving without a navigator, I can't stop and look at the computer. I once lost four hours in Chicago traffic because I couldn't read the map and drive at the same time. It's just not that helpful.

What I want is something like Hertz NeverLost. For $9 per day, it will almost guarantee you can't get lost. And while it's not perfect, it's darn good. And you don't have to read it as you drive: it talks to you.

So imagine my excitement when one of the new features promised with MapPoint 2006 was a talking GPS feature! I already had a GPS unit, so I plugged it in and took it on the road.

But now I have to say: Sorry, Microsoft, but it's not quite there yet.

Oh, it works pretty well, at a minimal level: as you drive, it tells you where your next turn will be, without you ever having to look at it. And it has one really nice feature: you can make it repeat the last command by tapping the space bar (which you can easily find without looking at the computer). NeverLost could use that feature.

But as soon as you veer from the planned course, it fails. It tells you "Off course", and that's it. You have to stop the car and create a brand new trip.

Whereas NeverLost... Ah, NeverLost... When you veer off course from the course that NeverLost planned for you, it gives you a little while to correct. See, GPS signals aren't perfect, and you might really be on course.

And then, once it recognizes that you really are off course, it recalculates the course for you automatically. And that's why it's so hard to get lost: even if you miss a turn, you're not lost. NeverLost will still find the way for you.

Sorry, Microsoft, but it's not quite there yet. MapPoint is programmable. I'll bet I could program it to do what I want. But that's not time I can spare (even though it sounds like fun). So NeverLost will still get my business for now.

So my sister likes to shop at Horrock's Market, a local gourmet food/nursery store. Yes, that's an odd combination, but it works for them. And no, I can't provide a link and generate some free publicity for them, because they don't seem to have a Web site. Their loss.

And being a good gourmet food store, they have some pretty unusual items. And knowing my tastes for the unusual, she sometimes picks up odd stuff to see if I'll like it. This time, however, she may have gone too far.

I like sushi, and I like hot food. So naturally, I like wasabi; but I also know that the best way to indulge in wasabi is to just lightly touch a piece of sushi to the dab of wasabi, so that there's just a slightly green residue on the sushi. More than that is a hazard. (Epee Bill told me of his first encounter with wasabi. He mistook it for guacamole. Epee Bill loves guacamole, so he took a really big scoop. I have trouble comprehending how he survived...)

And I've had wasabi nuts before at a bar in Boston. They might have been wasabi peanuts, or maybe wasabi soy nuts, I forget. But they were quite tasty, in moderation.

But the wasabi peanuts from Horrock's Market may just qualify as biological warfare.

The wasabi nuts in Boston had a light wasabi coating around them. These wasabi peanuts from Horrock's are a style sometimes called crunch-wrapped: the peanuts are wrapped in a corn-and-rice-cracker shell. So all the elements in place are great. I like peanuts, I like crunch-wrapped nuts, I like corn and rice.

And I like wasabi. Which is liberally dusted onto the outside of the crunch wrap.

In a powdery form.

When they do that to anthrax, they call it weaponized. Why? Because the powder becomes easily airborne and thus can reach more places and be more of a threat.

Well, trust me, the powdered wasabi on Horrock's wasabi peanuts is weaponized.

When you bite into one of these nuts, there's a good chance that you'll release the powdered wasabi. The crunch effect releases a lot of energy, and that can propel the powder out into the air spaces of your mouth.

If you're particularly unlucky, your breath will catch the weaponized wasabi and propel it into your sinus cavities, where there's just nothing you can do but wait for the pain to subside.

If you're a little more fortunate, all that will happen is the weaponized wasabi will disperse across your entire mouth, spreading the heat everywhere. Somehow there seems to be plenty of heat to go around. And of course, that makes your mouth water, so the saliva gets infested with wasabi.

And woe to the person whose mouth is too hot, and who decides to quench it with a drink. The weaponized wasabi mixes quite well with whatever liquid you might choose, and forms a very efficient slurry that burns all the way down your throat.

And the worst part is: the things are so darn tasty! So although I have to eat them carefully, I can't stop eating them. I started with three pounds a week ago. (Actually two weeks ago, but I was away in Boston for a week.) Slowly I have whittled them down to about a pound. But this is the first time I've ever encountered a food where you have to acquire a skill to eat it safely.

And I'm very careful to brush or lick the wasabi powder off my fingers. I live in fear of touching my eyes with weaponized wasabi. (Go ahead and laugh. I once had a toothpaste cap flip shut and flip some toothpaste right into my eye. It was one of the most painful experiences of my life.) Who needs pepper spray? Give me weaponized wasabi!

So my sister-in-law Lynette, along with her husband Robert and son Wyatt, sent me a belated birthday card with a Best Buy gift card enclosed. And after my last birthday shopping expedition, I knew exactly where to head when I got to the store: the music section, and specifically the Putumayo titles. I agonized over their choices, finally settling on Putumayo Presents: Cajun. I was looking for something lively, and it's hard to get more lively than Cajun music. I've only heard samples of this CD so far (been too busy working and posting tonight); but I already love what I've heard. (You too can hear samples here.) This is another disk that I can listen to from time to time, and think of the relatives who made it possible. Thanks, Lynette, Robert, and Wyatt!

And there's a bonus: the lyrics are almost completely French (albeit Cajun style French). So there's one more incentive to keep up my French lessons!

While I was at Barnes & Noble last week (picking up Pimsleur Instant Conversation French), I picked up two other Putumayo disks: Mediterranean Odyssey: Athens to Andalucia and A Jewish Odyssey. I've been too busy with travel, business, and French to listen to the latter yet, other than samples. It has some klezmer-style songs, and also some songs with sort of a Middle Eastern style. And yet there are other songs on there which are reminiscent of classical Spanish works, including Spanish guitar (a favorite style of mine). And yet other pieces sound almost Slavic or Eastern European in tone. It's like you can hear the whole Diaspora in these songs.

And as for Mediterranean Odyssey, I listened to this on a trip to visit my in-laws. And what I found interesting in this one was how, even though the songs came from different cultures along the Mediterranean, there were familiar sounds that echoed from one song to another. The songs aren't alike, but bits of one will often remind you of bits of another.

So while A Jewish Odyssey showed musical variation within one cultural tradition spread out across different nations and times, Mediterranean Odyssey shows common musical elements shared by many different cultures that happen to be joined in commerce and other interchange by the Mediterranean Sea.

Building on my preceding post, I have what may be an obvious observation to some, but is quite enlightening to me: I'll bet that you can tell a lot about the historical interactions and progressions and travels of different peoples by looking at their languages and their music, and seeing what they have in common, what they borrow from each other, and how they respond to each other. Add in comparative literature and religion, and I'll bet you get a vastly more intimate view of history than you will just by looking at major events. These elements of a culture are shaped by the day-to-day interaction with other cultures, not just by wars and such.

Oh, and food. Gotta throw food in there. I have long suspected that I could draw a direct line of food relation from Japanese to Hunan Chinese to Szechuan Chinese to Thai to Indian to Persian to Middle Eastern to Turkish to Romanian to Greek to Italian. Yes, I've missed a few steps in there; but I've had all of those cusisines, and I haven't had any of the missing cuisines (Pakistani, Afghani, Bulgarian, Hungarian, and probably others). But what I find delightful (again, if obvious) is how two cuisines that I find similar in flavor and style will usually be close together in geography. It says something about the migration of people and ideas and traditions. I'm nowhere near enough of a scholar to really explore these interconnections, but I still find them fascinating.

So while I was in Montreal, two different restaurant menus that I saw listed an item called "Hamburger Michigan". Now I have to tell you: I've lived in Michigan all my life; and as far as I know, there's nothing unusual about how we serve hamburgers here.

So I was curious; but other things on the menu tempted me. I didn't want to end up with either a plain hamburger or something unrecognizable. So instead, I had a gyro platter from Kostas Souvlakis for Wednesday dinner, and a smoked meat sandwich (another popular menu item) at Orly's Restaurant (can't find a Web site for that one). The gyro was one of the finest I've ever had (so good that I called them back to offer my compliments to the chef, and I've never done that before), and the smoked meat was tasty; so I don't mind my choices. But that still left me curious.

And a Web search left me even more curious, because a search for "Hamburger Michigan" turns up incredibly few hits. A Google search for the exact phrase turns up only 71 hits. (Of course, that will be 72 when Google gets around to indexing this entry.) And most of the ones that it does turn up are restaurant menus. Most of those in French. Most of those from restaurants in Montreal. And none of them define what Hamburger Michigan is. It must be one of those things that if you're from Montreal, you just know, and nobody need bother to explain (I'll bet he would know); and if you're not from Montreal, you would never have heard of it, and so you would never think to ask.

The best possible answer that I found came from all the way down on the third page of the Google search. It led me to an entry on Cooks.com. Now the entry had moved over time; but a search on Cooks.com led to these entries for "Michigan Sauce". They all seem to be recipes for what sound like sloppy-joe-like sauces of tomato paste and crumbled hamburger, to be served on hamburgers or hotdogs. (Meat sauce on meat. Go figure...)

I also found a comment thread somewhere (but now I can't find it again, naturally) where people discussed Michigan Sauce and traded recipes on it. No one there seemed to know why it might be called that.

So I'm at a loss. Is this what they mean by Hamburger Michigan? I guess I'll have to go back to Montreal to find out. Why have I lived 43 years in Michigan and never even heard of it before now? And why is it called that? That may be one of those rare answers that just isn't to be found on the Web.

So I went back to the same restaurant. I ordered the delightful Chicken Bacon Dijon Pannini, substitute the small fruit cup; and of course, the Chai Tea Latte. The cashier priced the order right and handed me my fruit cup. Because I asked, she handed me a fork. Then when I got my sandwich, there were no chips (which was correct), but there was a fork. Bravo!

And now for a great meal while I get some work done.

...to this.

Dear Mr. Shoemaker,

Thank you very much for your insight and thoughts on our "process". I think you make some great points in observing this and other cafes. I have already forwarded your link and initial comments to Greg Collins, our District Manager. There are continuously ways to improve our products, service and environment and we are very open to Associate and customer suggestions. Like I said, your comments have been passed on and we appreciate your time in providing us with your insight.

Thanks,
Brian Campbell
Marketing Coordinator
Trigo Bread, a franchisee of Panera Bread

A little more than a form letter, but that's all. Still, it shows that they value customer relations, particularly since this came from a guy from the very store that I visited.

So there's this cafe chain, Panera Bread. My sister-in-law and I once agreed: they're sort of the counter-Starbucks. Starbucks has a wide range of coffee drinks, for which they're famed; and they also have some pastries and sandwiches, but hardly anyone actually goes there just for those. They go for the coffee. Panera has a wide range of pastries, breads, bagels, soups, and sandwiches, for which they're famed; and they also have some flavored coffee drinks, but hardly anyone actually goes there just for those. They go for the food. (Exhibit A in our theory is the shopping center near her house, where a Starbucks and a Panera Breads can both be found, and are literally a short walk across the parking lot from each other. Both are thriving. And that's not the only place I've seen them share a parking lot.)

I love Panera's food. I don't like their somewhat upscale pricing; but I don't dislike it enough not to go there. (And that was even before they put in free WiFi. In fact, I shouldn't say "there", I should say "here". I'm composing this post at Panera.)

But I worry about the mental state of whoever designed their stores.

The image below is more or less the standard layout for Panera Breads stores. Oh, I've seen minor variations; but this is pretty standard:



And here's a key:

Bakery Reg/Pickup. See, Panera tries to keep two separate customer streams for two separate kinds of customers: bakery and cafe. Bakery Customers are largely a takeout business: they ask for some bread or pastry, they take it, and they leave. They don't want to wait around. So the Bakery Reg/Pickup is the register where bakery orders are placed, and where coffee is ordered separately and picked up (whether ordered separately or as part of a meal).

BC: Bakery Customer. Someone who orders just pastries, breads, bagels, or coffee.

Cafe Reg. This is the register for placing food orders. But because food takes time and Panera wants to keep the stream moving, you don't pick it up here.

CC: Cafe Customer. Someone ordering sandwiches, salads, or soups.

Cafe Pick Up. Where the Cafe Customer picks up food. Note that this is always down the counter from the Cafe Register, with a wall defining a narrow corridor between register and pick up. (Customer seating is on the other side of that wall.)

BW: Bakery Worker. Someone who takes and fills bakery orders, including all coffee orders from either register.

CW: Cafe Worker. You get the idea.

Chef: Someone who prepares cafe orders.

Baker. Or this might also be Supervisor. Someone who, for whatever reason, needs to come out of the bakery in the back.

Now here's where the problem comes in. (Use the red numbers on the drawing to follow along if you like.) What happens when a Cafe Customer (1) decides to order both food (like today's special, Chicken Olivada — I've had better chicken sandwiches here, but it's pretty good) and a coffee drink (or in this case, Chai Tea Latte, a great warm-up on a chilly day). Where do I go for step 2? And then step 3? Do I head toward Cafe Pick Up? Or do I head for Bakery Pick Up? Depending on the time of day and current customer demands, either one might get done first. There's no sure predictor. Usually I head for the Bakery Pick Up, but sometimes the food is done first. Either way I choose, though, I and my bulky computer backpack have to weave among both streams of customers and down the long, narrow hallway at least twice. And if I guess wrong and my order comes up at one pick up while I'm at the other, then I have to quickly work my way to the other pick up and back, likely ending in three cross-stream trips. So in other words, a design to reduce congestion at the registers results in an awful lot of cross-stream traffic. I'll bet they could improve traffic flow a lot if they swapped the Cafe Register and the Cafe Pick Up.

But often it's worse than that. Take a look at step 4. See, some of their coffee drinks (such as the wonderful I.C. Caramel, a great cool drink for the summer) require some shots of various syrups. And the first time I ordered one of those, I was shocked to see where they kept the syrups: behind the Cafe Register, and therefore across the traffic route from the Bakery out into the counter area. Worse than that, the only place to stand and dispense syrup was right in the Bakery entrance. This layout was almost guaranteed to lead to collisions between Bakery Workers and Bakers or Supervisors. This one they seem to have figured out, at least: almost every Panera I have visited lately has moved the syrups to a crowded area near the Bakery Register. It's cramped, but at least it doesn't lead to collisions.

And as long as I'm picking on Panera... With most of their food items, they offer a pickle and chips; but for $1.39 more, they'll substitute a small fresh fruit cup for the chips. Well, their chips are nothing special (Krunchers, usually), and their fruit cups are good. So that's how I usually order. But I swear, it's like not a single Panera cashier or chef has ever read their menu and knows about this option. Most times the cashier doesn't know where to find the cash register button for that. Some times they think I'm ordering a fruit cup separately, and charge me the full $1.99 for it. Most times they also don't know that, unlike all the rest of the food in the building, the fruit cup is the one item that they are supposed to deliver to me, rather than the Chef or the Bakery Worker. (Or some stores will have the fruit cups out front, and I'm supposed to serve myself.) Very often, the chef will add chips to my plate out of habit, so I have to explain that, while I appreciate their unintended generosity, I'm really not supposed to get the chips. And in almost every case (including today), they fail to provide me with a fork for the fruit. They need to educate their staff on this small matter.

Thank you, Panera, for letting me use your free WiFi to point out some of your failings. It puts me in the mood for another Chai Tea Latte (yummm...).

And speaking of WiFi and Chai Tea Latte... If I could use the WiFi to go to your site and place an order for new drinks and food to be delivered to my table while I keep working, you might never get me out of your store!

Well, after getting most (but not all) of the needed files onto the backup machine, I had to run to one client, work all day, run home, install more files, fly to Atlanta, and then work-work-work for another client. This project's a bit of a departure for me, but fun: the client wants me to model an existing, pre-UML system for them, so that they can use the model as guidance in transitioning to their next generation system. So I've been immersing myself in a wholely new, unfamiliar problem domain and trying to learn to think like an old hand; and then I've been converting my understanding into UML and communicating that back to the client, so that they can confirm or correct what I've learned. It's all NDA stuff, so I can't share any samples; but it's a great example of why I emphasize UML as a form of communication. I start with only a lay understanding of their problem domain; they start with only a classroom exposure to UML; and in striving to communicate between us, we're growing our understanding in both directions. It's loads of fun!

But that can't take up all of my time, can it? No, but it took up a lot. Then my weekend got derailed by an unfortunate ATM incident (since resolved) that left me planning how to stretch $20 for I wasn't sure how long. So none of the fun stuff I planned to do and blog about took place: no visit to the Bonsai gardens (next trip) and no visit to Borders to get fresh reading material. I just sat in the hotel room and worked on various projects and watched lots of Bond films.

And now it's my last day in Atlanta, and what a day it was! Today, we had our first review meeting, which went better than I dared hope.

Then I drove to Borders, and was delighted to find my book on the shelves. (For all that I'm unimpressed by their discount program, I'm usually pleased to find that Borders carries my book in most outlets.)

And then a little advance scouting had told me that nearby was Fire of Brazil, a Brazilian churrascaria restaurant. That means that the cooks skewer various meats on swords and cook the meat over open flames; and then gauchos bring the meat-laden swords around to the tables. You get a little card, red on one side and green on the other. If you turn it to green, they stop at your table and offer to cut you off a slice of whatever they happen to be carrying. Today I had slices of tenderloin, top sirloin, pork loin, turkey, pork sausages, and so many other meats I can't remember them all. It's not for every day (well, unless you're an Atkins devotee), and it's pricey; but as a treat, it's not to be missed.

And tomorrow, I get to fly home, and get my computer back from the shop, and see my wife and dogs, and then head to Ann Arbor for the 8th annual Duelist. I'll try to post photos.

And the other must-visit spot when I'm in Boston is Marcello's, an Italian/Persian restaurant. And since SD Best Practices is only a block away, I'll be sure to stop in. The Persian half of the menu is outstanding. (I can't speak for the Italian half. If there's Persian food on the menu, I can't see anything else.)